Everyone throughout the world knows that on Saint Patrick’s Day, members of the Chicago Journeymen Plumbers Union Local 130 dye the Chicago River green. Many, however, do not know about the day each August when the Chicago River takes on an orangish-yellow hue.

Special Olympics held its annual Chicago fundraiser today—known as the the Duck Derby. Ninety-three thousand, three hundred twenty two (93,322) rubber ducks were adopted by Chicagoans, generating $428,000 in revenue for the charity. The take will fund sports activities and competition for children and adults with intellectual disabilities.

To be clear: Nobody who “adopts” one of these ducks takes it home. Each duck is a stand-in for a lottery ticket—a chance to win an All-New Chevy, a vacation, cash, and other valuable prizes. Like all ducks, these rubber ones will return to the water, racing to the finish line positioned halfway between the Columbus Drive and Michigan Avenue bridges.

Five minutes before start-time, the City’s bridge tenders raised the north side of the Columbus Drive bridge, creating a gap that would permit the steam of ducks to drop into the river. Cheers rose from the crowd, with every onlooker now waiting in anticipation for the flap on the large container truck, now at a 45-degree angle to the bridge, to fling open.

The truck’s back wheels were precariously close to the bridge’s edge, further heightening the level of excitement. Would the truck follow the ducks into the river?

At 1:03 PM, that container’s flap opened, with the orangish-yellow adoptees pouring into the river in undulating waves. Thousands of onlookers lined both sides of the Chicago River, crowded the Michigan Avenue (DuSable) bridge, and gawked as they stood on nearby apartment balconies with cameras in hand.

Each rubber ducky is a minuscule creature, but an onslaught of 93,322 ducks resulted in viscous stream pouring into the now white water below. Even with the aid of gravity, it took at least 10 seconds to empty the truck’s precious cargo.

The festivities kicked off three hours earlier with a family-friendly party in the plaza separating the Tribune Tower from the Apple store on Michigan Avenue. Children were offered the opportunity to play a number of games, including taking part in a miniature duck race with windup ducks. Boy Band Night provided the music, enthusiastically offering up the pop hits of day, which included bits of K-Pop, several hip-hop favorites, and songs popularized by the Backstreet Boys, the Jonas Brothers and One Direction. For those interested in Instagrammable moments, there were several inflatable ducks scattered throughout the plaza.

I missed the party because I needed to get into prime position long before the scheduled dump. When I arrived at the plaza lining the river bank’s north bank, the Fox 32 crew was just determining the optimal position for “the [on-air] Talent” during the live broadcast. I found the perfect location; then stopped into the University of Chicago’s Gleacher Center for bladder relief; and finally, returned to my position. Ninety minutes later, I was surrounded by hundreds of people, as I found myself pressed against the railing. In the meantime, I watched the boat traffic and did some reading.

I assumed the event would be rather straightforward, but it turned out to be far more involved than I had imagined. Wouldn’t the ducks float freely westward to somewhere close to the Michigan Avenue bridge, with many just continuing the journey to the Mississippi River? Was I wrong.

Before the bridge was raised, several small boats positioned two plastic-encased lines of floats in the waterway, running from beneath the Columbus Drive bridge, heading west as the resulting artificial channel curved toward the river’s north bank. The ducks were dumped into the channel, with a fireboat on the east end of the channel then spaying water at the orangish-yellow mass, which served to propel the ducks forward. People with nets were positioned on small motorboats floating along the raceway. Any ducks that escaped the raceway were scooped up, and then tossed back into the channel.

Immediately after the winning ducks reached the Finish Line, the boats converged on the raceway, scooping up the tens of thousands of losers. I assume this was necessary for two reasons. First, the City and environmentalists presumably didn’t want thousands of rubber toys floating freely downstream, possibly harming wildlife and clogging drain pipes. Second, I suspect the ducks must be returned to the fundraising company behind the today’s race for reuse at other duck derbies. Its website refers to duck “rentals.”

After watching the collection effort, I headed back to Michigan Avenue. I then had the opportunity to listen to Boy Band Night. While not my style of music, they were a polished ensemble, giving the young crowd exactly what they wanted to hear, as those in the crowd pogoed up and down. I was not surprised when one of the singers announced that this was their third year headlining the event. If I were planning a wedding or a Bar Mitzvah, I wouldn’t hesitate booking these guys. Lots of energy.

I did get caught up in the cause, “buying” a package of five ducks. As usual, I won nothing, but like everyone else, I had a great time.

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Copyright 2023, Jack B. Siegel, All Rights Reserved. Do Not Alter, Copy, Download, Display, Distribute, or Reproduce Without the Prior Written Consent of the Copyright Holder.